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Sweet + heart = <3

I hope and pray that you're mine to keep.

Ive no guts to tell anyone what i feel now and maybe i need someone to talk to.  I wish my dad is here with me so that i can talk to him in person.  He always treat me like his best friend and yes, i'm comfortable with that.  All things seem not right to me.  Hardly can focus on my study these few days.

Can i say that i'm suffering from lovesick?  Distance are torturing me right now.  I feel like you're getting further away from me or is it just my feeling?  Just hope that there are still sparks to ignite the fire.  Sometimes, i feel i'm just like a candle.  When the wind blows strongly, *puff the light goes off and when it's kept properly, the light stays.  I myself do not understand my own feeling right now.  It's too complicated.  All i want is to be with you, where distance is nothing to our relationship.

On this beautiful night, i gaze at the stars.  They are just like you-very beautiful. Shining brightly from afar.  But, looking at them make me sad.  Reminds me of how we spent our times together when i'm just beside you, just two of us :( people says distance can't separate you from the one whom you love, however, for me distance separate me from the one i love.  It makes me to suffer like this.  Luckily there's this feeling-missing you.  With that feeling, i found you inside my heart, very close to me.

I admit that i'm a weak person.  I cant endure this kind of feeling, how am i going to go through this when u're in india next year. hmm Just pray that i'll become stronger.

I miss you so much :(

Love you always

Happy birthday doctor :)

This special post is dedicated to a very special girl

To my dearest Nana,

I've known you since you're 7, today, you've turned 19 and it's different now, after 12 years.
The girl whom i seldom talked to last time is the one who i want to see everyday now.

Happy birthday sayang, and may this year bring you the very best life has to offer.  May you'll achieve your target, all A's in A level exam :) good health and happiness.

This year will be another year that i'll love you more and more :)

I've nothing to give as presents but, i can give you my gift of love because you're the gift in my life

Happy birthday my love :)

For you to know, my heart for you will never break. My smile for you will never fade. My love for you will never end. I love you so much

I would love to capture more of your pictures using analog camera :) Though we'll change, the pictures remain the same, so do the memories.  It's worth than thousand words.  I love you so much

DEMAM

kali pertama demam seteruk ini sejak *x ingat bila* Ingatkan just demam biasa-biasa yang disertai sekali oleh sakit tekak.  Mungkin disebabkan oleh cuaca kot.  Mana x nya, masuk dlm bilik beraircond, then keluar balik, then masuk balik. Perubahan suhu yang tiba-tiba/ x menentu boleh menyebabkan demam. ye ke?

Demam memang x best, tp nak buat mcm mana kan? terlantar atas katil beserta sakit kepala dan tekak. Dah la integrasi 1 hari rabu next week dan ujian skill lab keesokan harinya. Semoga aku cepat sembuh.

Bila demam ni, parents x putus-putus call.  Macam ni la kalau berjauhan dgn family.  Kalau kat rumah pulak, sedap sikit, ada orang jaga.  Nak mintak makanan panggil je adik.  Tapi kat sini, nak makan terpaksa beli sendiri.  Nasib baik kedai dekat, kalau jauh, x makan la aku untuk beberapa hari.

Aku bingung, tugasan PBL untuk esok belum siap lagi :( semoga sempat siapkan sebelum esok.

TWO-oh

I dont want anything for my birthday present.  It's enough if you ask me to skype-date tonight :)
I wish..

I know you are very busy preparing for you big exam.  We seldom text each other and no more every night skype-ing.  I understand u've something which is more important to do.  Ive tried control myself from thinking too much about it. But the fact is, i cant endure the pain of missing you :'( i miss you so much.  I would be better if my another half is missing me too.

Your absence has gone through me

Like thread through a needle.  Everything I do is stitched with its color.~W.S. Merwin,    "Separation"

i miss you :( 

I know what i did last holiday

I'll try to summarize my first semester break in this post.

nothing can beat the excitement of going back to your hometown after 5 months away.  My dad booked my flight ticket to Malaysia on the 7th of February.  I boarded an early morning flight.  Reached Kuala Lumpur at noon.  As soon as i entered the departure hall, i contacted her and my best friend muadz.  Of course i called my mom first to tell her that i've arrived.  I bought ERL ticket to go to KL Sentral.  Met muadz at Salak Tinggi ERL station. 

After taking the ERL, i stopped at Hang Tuah's station to meet her :) it's our first meeting after 5 months.  Though i was very happy to see her, my condition made the situation a bit awkward.  I was sweating like hell carrying my bags.  I've to rush because i've customers waiting for their films.  Ohh, before i went back, i bought some film stocks i sold most of them to my analogue-lover-friends. 

At the pavillion, after meeting all customers, we had lunch together with muadz.  I know you didnt like it but he's my bestfriend and we've not meet each other since august 2011.  Sorry :( but at least we spent the rest of the time together right? 

After spending some times together, we had to say goodbye to each other.  That's the part i hate the most. We've been apart for 5 months and only able to meet each other for few hours :( my flight to Sibu was on the next day, 8th of Feb.  The End of my KL's Story.  My Sibu's story is coming soon.

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When i reached Sibu airport and met my parents-they came to fetch me, the first thing my dad said was my hair looked like helmet. -.-'' I didnt cut my hair when i was in Indonesia.  So it's been 6 months since i cut my hair last time. 

In Sibu, my daily routine was (starting from the morning i wake up), woke up, had my lunch, went out with my best cousin, went back home, had my dinner, tv/online, on the phone with her and this routine kept on repeating every day.

While in Sibu, here are the list of activities i joined :

• Cousin's birthday celebration
• Futsal with friends
• Went to bintangor with friends
• Celebrate ex-history teacher birthday
• Went to school
• Went photo outing with nidzam
• Attend cousin's wedding reception
• Took lots of photos using my film cameras

These are all the activities that i can recall.  I'm sorry if i only did that during my one month holiday.

On the 3rd of March, I left Sibu for Kuala Lumpur before going back to Jakarta the next day, 4th of March.  Again, I met her and we spent some times together.  We had dinner to celebrate our birthday.  It was pre-celebration as both of us were born in March.  The difference is just the date, im in the middle of march and hers is on the last week of the month.  I hope you'll keep the simple present that i gave that night.

Thanks because you're willing to spend some times with me though you know it's only for few hours and you might get tired because of me.  I want you to know that though it was only a short meeting, and we met only twice, i appreciate your efforts to come to see me.  That means a lot to me.  I will remember all the times we had together.  I will keep our memories till forever.  and i hope you'll do the same thing.  I want you to know that i love you so much and no matter how far the distance between us, trust me, i'll always be by your side when you need me.  Regarding the distance that keep us apart, u dont have to worry because  distance never separates two hearts that really care.  Sometimes, i do feel sad because i miss you so much, but after all, i remind myself how lucky i am to have someone special to miss.  I may not be able to give you lots of money, but i guarantee that i can give you happiness as long you are with me :) i love you so much 

That's how i spent my one month holiday and a bit out-of-topic heart expressions

Stay tuned for the next post, i will post some of my pictures taken with my beloved film cameras :)