Full of regrets

My dad once told me, when someone is not in his/her perfect emotion, being mad at you, you should never say a word, because once you say anything, that will just make the situation becoming worse and worse.  It's like adding kerosene to the fire.  Instead, i should just keep what i want to say to myself, that's more like adding water to the fire.  Fire and fire wont work together-i forgot that.

I admit it, i've never act like a grown up man like you always want.  I just want my desire to be fulfilled without thinking of yours.  That's not make any sense in a relationship.  So far, this is the worst outbreak in our relationship.  I've never experience any like this before.


I know it's my fault.  Started with ignoring you on skype :( At that time, i just cant control my feeling.  I was sleepy, tired and when you answered me like that, i dont know why i am so sensitive that night. I'm sorry dear.


Things maybe will be better if i gave you some times to yourself yesterday.  But i didnt consider to give you  any and kept on texting you.  It's like i forced you to text me though i know you're not in the right mood.  You can blame me 100%  for what had happened on us for not being understanding.


There are a lot for me to change to be a better boyfriend of yours.  Could you forgive me for what i've done.  You're strong, you've being beside me through thick and thin.  No matter how i've disappoint you, you always be there.  I know this time, you are disappointed at me more than before.  I've no intention to make you sad.  Could you please forgive me and give me chance to fix our relationship that i've messed up.

“Every couple has ups and downs, every couple argues, and that’s the thing—you’re a couple, and couples can’t function without trust.” 
― Nicholas Sparks, At First Sight

“Every couple needs to argue now and then. Just to prove that the relationship is strong enough to survive. Long-term relationships, the ones that matter, are all about weathering the peaks and the valleys.” 
― Nicholas Sparks, Safe Haven

“Forgive the past. It is over. Learn from it and let go. People are constantly changing and growing. Do not cling to a limited, disconnected, negative image of a person in the past. See that person now. Your relationship is always alive and changing.” 

I'm not sure when you'll read this.  Maybe for now you don't want to hear anything from me, but if you read it later, i hope everything will be back to normal.  I miss you so much.  I miss your smile, i miss to hear you laugh, i miss everything about you.  And please, tell me that your tweets aren't true.  I want us to be us like before.  We tell stories to each other, laugh together, jokes around, act silly, being childish and be our true selves.  I want to be the one that will laugh and cry with you, going through good and hard times together.


You asked me why i fall for you, it's hard for me to explain why because i just did what my heart told me.  Started with texting each other, that already make me feel comfortable with you and being myself.  That's me who're childish all the time, playful and not serious.  I'm sorry if im not up to your expectation but i believe that, experiences and times will teach me to be a better man.


I'm sorry sayang :( i want you to know that i love you so much and i miss you :( 

“I may not always be with you 

But when we're far apart

Remember you will be with me

Right inside my heart” 

I totally regret for what i've done.  I hope there's still chance for me to make everything right.

Give me chance to light up your world like before

I love you so much Nur Liyana Amin