turn over a new leaf

i've been mourning since monday because of my poor AS result. i keep on blaming myself but i deserve it. i was not serious at all during my AS. Playing around, sleep all the time, have fun and neglect my study. hmm. past is past and ive to move on. i've to struggle hard for my A2.

*1 point make a huge different. either u float or u sink. and i'm not only sank. i've drowned :(

when i called my mom, i cried. there's thousands of hopes on me. as her only son and the eldest in my family, i should have shown good example to my sister. it's my biggest failure in my life so far. last time, when i was in standard 2, i got 8+ for my math and i hid the exam paper from my mom. but now, i wish i can do the same. but it's not. i'm sorry mom. i keep on thinking whether i deserve those good results before, upsr, pmr and spm. and i'm not a good role model too.

sometimes, i think it's too late for me to regret. the journey is still so far away and i should not just give up like this. there are lots of reasons for this. it's not the end of the world. i must change. hmm. *every cloud has its silver lining*

to both of my parents, i'm sorry. i've done lots of bad things. and maybe this is the amount that i've to pay. i'll make sure that i wont disappoint u both.